You Can't Judge A Book By Its Cover

You can't judge the sugar
By looking at the cane
You can't judge a woman
By looking at her man
You can't judge the sister
By looking at her brother
You can't judge a book
By looking at the cover
- Bo Diddley

So with all the fussing about Ann Coulter and her messianic zeal about Jewish people, I picked up her book yesterday at the bookstore.

No, I didn't buy it, I just picked it up and flipped through it. It appears to be a compilation of comments (sort of a "Sayings of Chairwoman Ann"), lots of which are apparently from previously published rantings. Just a sampling from the table of contents gives you the flavor of the work. Some examples -

"Airport security: make imams take buses"
"Blacks: the only thing standing between the Democrat Party and oblivion"
"Colleges: the English translation of 'madrassa'"
"Environmentalism : Adolf Hilter was the first environmentalist"
"Evolution, alchemy, and other 'settled' scientific theories"
"Foreigners, or the 'non-soap oriented'"
"Muslims: Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and a moderate Muslim walk into a bar"

Well, you get the idea. I know that her whole point is to say things that get people annoyed or angry, but why? In her introduction, she says that she is saying "the Truth" - but someone who views those things as "the Truth" has a serious perception problem, or is perhaps just a little, you know, a few threads short of a full cocktail dress.

Then it hit me. I was reading these all wrong. I went through the table of contents again, but this time imagining the voice of Stephen Colbert saying these things. And, it was hilarious! While they're outrageous coming from some clueless conservative pundit who thinks she's making a valid point, they are fantastic one-liners for someone who is trying to act like a clueless conservative pundit.

Mr. Colbert should mine this book for the nuggets of comedy gold contained therein. I give him that advice free of charge.